Lord You know better than I

It's been a while since I've written a post. How can I when I'm in the middle of a family crisis? With my dad's health poorly deteriorating, how can I even do what I love, which is writing. But this online journal has already been a log of my adversities and triumphs, and I feel so much better when I look back at the trials that I overcame and made me stronger.

Seeing Papa yesterday in the ICU with all those tubes inserted in his frail body, brought me back again to the time I gave birth to R and almost lost her. She stayed in the neonatal ICU for 5 days, and another 5 days in the Level 2 nursery before we were able to take her home. Like my father, she had to be intubated under respirator since she contacted neonatal pneumonia. Antibiotics and IV feed were passed through tubes to her navel.

Whenever people would come visit my dad and say that's inhumane treatment (passing tubes to his body), I just look back at the days when R was also fighting for her life. Nothing could be more painful than seeing your newborn daughter in such poor state and couldn't even let out a cry because of those tubes in her mouth. But God is merciful. When you feel like almost all hope is gone, and you have nothing to hold on to but faith, that's when miracles truly happen. Look at my healthy and active daughter now.

I don't know what will happen to Papa in the coming hours or days, but just like before with R, all I know is that God is already there. Just as my husband has reiterated many times "what our eyes can't see, our faith will". Even with the tiny sliver of hope remaining, I'm just putting all my trust in Him. He knows better than I.

This song just sums up all the emotions I'm feeling right now. I can't help but cry whenever I listen to this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=L-DhISwiIVU&feature=endscreen

You Know Better Than I (from the movie Joseph King of Dreams)

I thought I did what's right
I thought I had the answers
I thought I chose the surest road
But that road brought me here
So I put up a fight
And told you how to help me
Now just when I have given up
The truth is coming clear

 You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
For You know better than I
If this has been a test
I cannot see the reason
But maybe knowing
I don't know is part of getting through
I tried to do what's best
But faith has made it easy
To see the best thing i can do
Is to put my trust in You.
  

 For, You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
For You know better than I

 I saw one cloud and thought it was a sky
I saw a bird and thought that I could follow
But it was You who taught that bird to fly
If i let You reach me
Will You teach me.

 For, You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go the need to know why
I'll take what answers you supply
You know better than I