Well modesty aside, Daddy A and I were very good students during our school years. Always on top ika nga, hindi rin kami na pri-principal's office. So pressured din ako, am I raising my kid well? At the same time I don't want to be too strict lest she grows up too guarded and baka magrebelde pa.
Well all my fears were put to rest when I read this:
Akalain mo yan, my daughter knows the rules and strictly adheres! Well I had an inkling though that this would be the assessment since at home she pretty much plays teacher (well ok she sounds like a mayordoma!) telling everyone to put things in their proper place (e.g. worn clothes go straight to the laundry). She also thrives in order (e.g. dapat laging may placemats pag kumakain) and sometimes OCness kicks in (e.g. magagalit yan sakin pag hindi terno ung panty at bra ko, dapat daw partner). The orderly Virgo in her shows talaga.
In terms of letter, number and shapes recognition, I have full confidence in her. Just after turning two years old, she knows all of those by heart. Nevertheless I don't want to pressure her that much in terms of academics. I'd rather focus on her emotional development. I'm also glad that their school doesn't give out awards during the preschool years which sends a good message to parents about things that really matter. Interacting with all sorts of people, playing fair, being independent and interdependent, these are the life skills that our children will need when they step out into the real world.
To be honest there really are times when she's quite a handful. She'll throw in a tantrum from time to time (well which toddler doesn't). But she's just usually whiny when sleepy or hungry. When she's unruly, a little timeout threat does the trick, that we don't result to doing timeouts at all. And I am proud to say we still don't see the need to spank.
I came across this link that lists the signs of having a spoiled child. I could say we are still on safe ground. And hopefully by the time she passes toddler stage, we have graduated from these with flying colors. I also saw how she matured when she became a big sister.
I'm not saying our parenting style is great, believe me, it's an everyday struggle. But we may have done some right things which I'll share:
- We praise when warranted, not too smothering
- When she does something bad, we explain why what she did was wrong and make her go on timeout if she refuses to say sorry or hasn't learned her lesson
- We try to cultivate in her the love for books and reading. We'd rather give inexpensive activity books as pasalubong whenever we come home from trips and try to read to her at night.
- We prefer to give pretend play toys
- Although we do allow her to play with the tablet, we limit its use. I actually bring it to work so she won't be able to see it. But I do acknowledge that her letter, number and shapes recognition were partly because of some great apps.
- I always ask how her day in school went and listen to them. Really listen to them and what they have to say, hindi ung "listening kuno"
- I "used" to have weekly dates with her. Aww, this is something I feel so guilty. I am not able to do this anymore since I gave birth to JD. Through this, I learn more about her personality, likewise she feels secure and knows that I'm just focused on her. I hope to bring this back, and also do this with JD.
These are just some of the things on the top of my head. Everyday is a chance to try out something new. You just have to agree with your husband how to raise your kids and you should stick with it so they don't get confused.
I could say we are so blessed to have an amiable and loving daughter. I'm so excited to see how JD turns out as well. I think with the second/next child it's a bit easier since may practice na kami with the first (well hopefully). =)
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