Working Mom Woes and Making Up for Quality Time

How do working moms survive instances like this?

One morning, R woke up and caught me as I was about to leave for work (she was teary-eyed):
R: Mommy dito lang tabi ko tulog
I lay beside her for a few minutes. She calls out to her dad.
R: Daddy opis
Me: Mommy office too.
R: No dito lang mommy tabi ko tulog
Me: I'll come home early anak, play tayo later
And I left, even if it hurts to see her crying behind.

These past few days are even tougher. At present I'm in the middle of a big engagement at work, and with my dad in the hospital, I can only spend a couple of minutes or luckily a few hours with R during weekdays.  Weekends are different though, cause I really made a vow that those are sacred for my family. My full time is devoted to them during those days, which I will share in a different post.

I'm quite lucky to be in my present job and department with flexible hours and provisions that sometimes allow me to work from home when necessary. My regular schedule (if I have no tight deadlines or big engagements) is from 8am-5pm. With that, I can be home by 6pm (or 7pm if sobra traffic) and just focus my whole attention on R. We either sing and dance to Barney, Dora or Blues Clues. We play luto-lutuan, parlor-parlor, doctor-doctor and kung anu-ano pa. We also love exploring apps in the Ipad. We eat dinner together and have story-time before I tuck her in bed.

Here are a couple of  our precious moments during hassle free weekdays:

Blowing bubbles

Coloring and tracing

Story time before bedtime

So how can we working moms make quality time during weekdays, here are just some tips I apply:

1. Strictly follow your work schedule and to-dos for the day to avoid overtime. Avoid procrastinating or wasting time on social networking sites (hondali sabihin noh?!). I try to blog when my child is asleep during the night or early morning before going to work.
2. Manage not only your time but also your superiors' and staff. Agree on deadlines and try as much as possible to stick to it.
3. When at home, be at home. Honestly, I'm guilty of this. Because I leave early from work, I have the tendency to still open the laptop at home. If you really need to work, just do it after your child has fallen asleep.
4. Make your child feel that he/she is your top priority. Ung siya naman ung boss mo ngayon. Do whatever they want to do. Kung gusto ka nila puluputan ng kung anu-anong borloloy sa katawan, go lang. If gusto nila magsayaw kayo or kumanta, go lang ng go, keber sa kapitbahay.

Those are just some of my tips based on my learnings/experiences sa aking two and a half years experience of being a working mom. I'm sure maraming batikan moms out there na mas madami pang ways on how to balance work and quality time with their kids. What's important is knowing your priorities, and everything you do will subconsciously be geared towards that.

Being Thankful Makes Worries Disappear

These past few months have been trying for me. Apart from being in a big and stressful project at work, it's mainly because Papa's cancer is back. He's been in and out of the hospital since his surgery in February. Which is not only draining us financially and physically, but I have to admit sometimes spiritually.

All my life I could say my faith's been shaken quite a few times. But in the end it just comes out triumphant because God really saves me and answers my prayers. It may be right away, may be in a different form, or may be at a later time. No matter what He does answer me.

Nevertheless, there are just days na naco-corrupt talaga utak ko at pinanghihinaan ako ng loob. Good thing one day while driving to work, instead of sulking in self-pity and worry, I tried to divert to happy thoughts. And what better to think of than blessings. So here's a list of my biggest blessings to date:

1. I'm alive and physically healthy - I'm still breathing, maganda parin ako (chos!), I'm able and capable.
2. My husband - Upto now hindi talaga ko makapaniwala na I married my biggest crush, who turns out to be a God-fearing man and in-love parin sakin hanggang ngayon despite my shortcomings and my sometimes out of this world temper. He holds my hand through the trials and provides all types of support for me and my children.
3. My children - Hindi rin ako makapaniwala na nakapagluwal ako ng isang magandang bata (well ok gwapo kasi asawa ko) and that I have a baby boy coming. After a hard day's work, R just greets me with the biggest smile, wettest kiss and warmest hug. I also crack up with the silliest things she blurts out. Also, through his little nudges and kicks, my baby boy also makes me grateful and look forward to being a new parent again. 
4. My parents are still here and together - Despite the trial we are facing now with Papa's health, I still can't help but be thankful that they're still here with me and were able to witness significant milestones in my life. Also 32 years of marriage is an amazing feat which is something to be proud of.
5. Siblings and relatives - I'm thankful for my only brother who is always there whenever I need something (whether a ride, having car troubles or someone to talk to). It's also a blessing to have in-laws who are not only supportive, but show they really care as well. And to top it off, we have relatives all over the world who are generous in their prayers and support for our family in our time of need.
6. Friends - The ones who really stood the test of time. Gradeschool, highschool, college friends; friends from work; and friends from the community. I won't mention names but you know who you are.
7. House - Our joyful abode, where we share priceless moments together, a home which we could say is proudly ours. 
8. Cars - Our battle tanks, which safely takes us to wherever we want to go, and brings us to wonderful places where we could create memories.
9. Work - Still thankful to be here in my first (and will it be the last?) job. A job that has tested my patience and sanity, yet filled my cup to the brim. It has taken me to places around the world I've never been. It also helped me build my asset portfolio and continuously provide for me and my family. Also the flexible hours and understanding co-workers help a working mom like me make time for my family.
10. Moments/Milestones/Memories - The countless memories that fill our albums/hard drives with thousands of photos and etched in our hearts forever. 

Just thinking about that list above melts the worries and cares away.

Image taken from the web

Baby's Layette

Last Sunday was another malling day. I couldn't help myself from buying baby stuff since I just found out we're having a boy. And who could resist the 3-day sale at SM! But I had to restrain myself since I still kept the neutral newborn clothes of R. So I just bought a couple of onesies, booties, bibs (since most of R's bibs were pink), a receiving blanket and going home outfit for my baby boy.

With my pregnancy with R, when we immediately found out we were having a girl, I was so excited to go shopping. Good thing someone gave us a Php5,000 gift card from SM for our wedding gift. So splurge I did. Para akong nakawala sa koral sa SM specially with all those cute, frilly, pink and bedazzled stuff for baby girls. I specially went crazy with the little booties/socks that looked like shoes.

Being a first time mom then and with so little will power for shopping restraint, I just gave in. After all I'm having a girl, a little doll of my own. So here was my loot:

But if we didn't have that gift card, I would've probably been more practical and wise. So what really are the essentials for baby's layette (first set of clothing)? I tried to compile a barely basics list based on my experience with R:

1. Sleeveless tie-side shirts (8-12 pieces) - this is for day-time wear which may need constant change due to spit-ups or perspiration. I actually prefer the button down shirts for ease, but realized tie-sides were safer, specially if buttons weren't sewn properly, there's a risk of ingestion/choking.
2. Short sleeved tie-side shirts (6 pieces) - this is for cooler days or at night time.
3. Long sleeved tie-side shirts (3 pieces) - this is for really cold nights.
4. Pajama pants (6 pieces) 
5. Mittens (8-12 sets) - I used this for the first two months, after that I let her explore her fingers. Just make sure nails are filed/safely trimmed.
6. Booties (6-8 pieces) 
7. Bonnets (4 pieces) - for cold nights and for when going out
8. Bibs (6 pieces) - for spit-ups and for when baby starts solids
9. Towelettes (6 pieces) - for wiping sweat and for bathing
10. Cloth diapers (12-24 pieces) - depends on whether you would use cloth or disposable. We used disposable diapers so we used these cloth diapers (birds-eye or gauze) as burp-pads.
11. Receiving blankets (2-3 pieces) - for bringing baby home from the hospital and for going out of the house.
12. Bath towels (3 pieces)
13. Cute onesies (2-3 pieces) - babies are discouraged to be brought out of the house during the first few weeks/months because they may catch viruses. But for short trips like check-ups and a visit to grandparents, they may need cute outfits.

It's best to buy in white, not only for the practical reason that they are neutral and can be used for whatever gender, but with white you can easily spot stains, hair, insects and other stuff that may cause harm to baby.

Watch out for another post on essential baby gear.

Oh Boy!

Yesterday Daddy A went with me for my second trimester ultrasound. Well basing from the title you could guess. We're having a boy!

I was totally expecting the baby's a girl, well maybe for the feelingera reason na hindi raw ako pumangit bwahaha!

However, looking back and listing the differences between my first pregnancy with R and with this pregnancy, I could say some old wives tales are not so true after all.

1. First trimester paglilihi - With R, I was very emotional, as in I cried about anything and everything from movies to the fact na one fine working day hindi si Daddy A ang susundo sakin sa office kundi parents ko. With this baby boy, deadma lang, keber. Also with R I loved all kinds of fruits and vegetables and freshly squeezed fruit juices. With baby boy, nasusuka ako with those blended fruit juices and vegetables. I mostly loved meat products (as in steaks and burgers) with baby boy. With R I was super sensitive with ALL smells (even toothpaste or Daddy A's perfumes). With baby boy, some scents I could take in.
2. Second trimester changes - With R, I thought naman we were having a boy. Well, umitim lang naman ng bongga ung kili-kili, belly button at linea negra (that faint line from your belly button to your pubis) ko. With baby boy, not much changes with my skin and as others would say, hindi naman ako pumangit.
3. My baby bump - I could say they were very much the same. So there really is no truth to the old wives tale that if you're carrying a boy, it's patulis and low. I guess it's really attributed to the baby's position and your built. 

Anyway, I'm just so thankful to God for this wonderful blessing. Actually even Daddy A says, "kahit girl uli basta healthy lang". Granting us another baby is already a blessing while a boy is such a big bonus. Sa mga magtatanong ng tips kung paano ba gawin ang girl or boy, ay ewan ko talaga! It's really God who determines. So super thank you Lord. And here's another one who thanks you God:

Can't wait to see you baby brother!

First Time

Image taken from the web

For the longest time I have been keeping a journal of my musings, irks, exciting and not so exciting days. It's just that they are safely kept under password, in my hardrive, free from curious eyes and judgement. This is my first feeble attempt to post an entry for the world to see. 

Oh no why am I doing this? Backspace...erase...erase.

Why blog? Is it because it has taken the worldwide web by storm and I want a piece of the action? Is it really such a powerful tool that can influence not just one but multitudes? For money? Popularity? Or just have at least someone to listen to my simple joys, ramblings or rants apart from family and friends?

Whatever my motive maybe, which admittedly I may not yet be so sure of, I just feel in this humungous world, I do have something to contribute. Life lessons. And so here let me tell you a little something about Lei and how much she loves life.